As I woke up this morning on the one-year anniversary of suffering a major heart attack I found myself in a contemplative state. Reading the last half of Acts and peeking at the first chapter of Ecclesiastes I’m reminded of the one question I had while lying in recovery, “what is the point of all this?” I became obsessed with that question, and I was reminded of it every time I woke up and every time I went to bed. It was a question I sought to answer, but without knowledge of the spiritual realm I was left with only worldly views. For the next six months I was seeking that answer, however it took another health crisis, not my own this time, for my mind to expand beyond my own worldly comprehension.
Our purpose in life is to be in the service of others. That was my conclusion, albeit an empty one that left me unsatisfied. I remember thinking to myself, there is no way we are just here to be nice to our neighbors and to serve one another as humans. It was a nice thought, but utterly meaningless, empty and shallow. This line of thinking aligns us with only one power, the power of oneself. Besides, what an utter letdown to life if we are only here to serve each other. We aren’t an inherently good species; our default setting is sin, the wedge between us and eternal life.
Ecclesiastes starts out with a drumroll in chapter 1 verse 2:
2“Meaningless! Meaningless!”
says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.”
Never has a truer statement been said! The first chapter talks about the repetitive nature of life, that the sun rises and sets each day. Our lives aren’t so different than the rising and setting of the sun. We all follow the same pattern, each day of our lives seeing mostly the same people, doing the same things daily until we die. I believe the majority won’t ask themselves the simple question, what is our point here, until their own day of judgement. God gave me a glimpse of this judgment on many occasions throughout my life. From an early age when my father abandoned me, to later when I became a drug addicted alcoholic to the current day when I suffered a heart attack at 43. I operated on the false assumption that life’s purpose was to serve the inhabitants of a very meaningless world. My internal thoughts went something like this. “If I’m a good servant to my community and nice to my neighbors I can bypass all this religious stuff and will go to heaven.”
Nothing could be further from the truth. Meaningless. We can spend our whole existence toiling away in the garden of life only to find at the end times we’ve only been pruning the tree of knowledge of good and evil, completely ignoring the tree of life. The tree that brings us joy, peace, and salvation. Luke says about his companion Paul in Acts 20:24:
24However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.
We can spend our entire lives aiming to achieve things of this world, pleasing ourselves and those around us, whose opinions, whether great and uplifting or horrid and full of judgement, are meaningless. When we are tied to these materialistic worldviews we are tied to the anger and grievances as well as joy and peace that go along with them, ignoring the grace and forgiveness that’s inherent in serving God’s will. The opinion of other worldly beings has no staying power. We will always be seeking more, because a world without God has no sustenance in the substance. I liken this to having Asian food for lunch, specifically pork fried rice. Without fail, by 2PM, I’m hungry again.
After a spiritual awakening that changed the present and future trajectory of my life, my answer changed. No longer do I believe we are here to just be nice to each other and to lift our neighbors. Yes, serving others is important to living a happy and healthy life but doesn’t align to our purpose as laid out by Luke above. I spent my life building myself up in a house of mirrors where all I could see were various reflections of myself as I think others saw me. With enough polish we can present ourselves as whom we want others to receive us, but without a greater purpose we are only actors in the play of life.
Ecclesiastes 1:9 “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.”
No one is special on this planet; we are all born the same way through the same mechanisms. We all share about the same amount of time on Earth, and we all have struggles and successes, over and over throughout life. The only difference between us is what we choose to believe. Do we serve a higher power, or do we serve ourselves and be good people, or do we just serve ourselves? This is it. There are only three options of how to live. I spent the first half of my life with option two, serving myself and being good to others, but others were second to me. I was in control of my shallow destiny which left my life empty and without meaning or purpose. To what end? A question I’ve asked myself countless times while looking in the mirror while drunk, or high on drugs or happy and fat, rich or poor. Meaningless.
So, what is more important than loving our neighbor? For fun, I decided to look up the date of my heart attack in the Bible. The month represents which book, in this case April would equate to the fourth book which is John, the day equates to the 14th chapter and the year equates to the 23rd verse:
23Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.
Without fail, Jesus delivered the answer for all of us, ‘love me’ He says and we will obey His teaching. We’ve been under an illusion for so long that we must do this or that, be a good person and do right by other people to earn our salvation. We find faith by works in Judaism, Islam and even some Christian offshoots, whereas all we need to do is love Jesus as He loves us and from that simple action, we will just obey His teachings. No checklist required; it just happens through love, and through that love the Father will love us back. The best part is through the genuine love the Father and the Son will come and make their home with us. The Greek word for home is Moné and means an abiding, an abode, lodging, or dwelling-place. The Father and the Son will dwell within us and become a part of us in all that we do.
Coming to love Jesus and following the Way has become the way of life for me. It’s not something I’d ever intended to happen. I had no idea the trajectory my life was going to head in once I asked Jesus to reveal himself to me. I can tell you this, He’s ignited a passion in me that I never knew existed. A passion to lead others to Him, to use his Holy Chisel to soften my heart and stand firm with compassion. He is teaching me to lead with love, full of humility and grace. Most importantly however is the effect He’s had on my family. I am confident that my son will grow to be a man led by Christ. That he will move from childhood to adulthood with feelings of self-assuredness, not self-doubt. That being His son makes me an intentional father in a marriage of unity and oneness.
Colossians 3:14:
14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Be bold in Christ, reflect His light brightly and follow Him with conviction. His blood washes over my sins, grace received, and glory given.
Luke 2:14:
14“Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”
